Come home happiness, Come home sorrow
Come home to the rest of your life

 photo 16b5d828-34cf-4561-8408-fcca63e01cfe.jpg

I'm an ordinary girl. Nothing special, just normal, boring, typical. Like most girls, I think a lot, and I feel a lot, and I hide it all a lot. I don't know what I am doing, I just feel like blogging again, just wanna see how this goes.

Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace

ღmine ღcindel ღemily ღyin ru ღjoyenn ღree na ღally ღkah ee ღqin ern ღdylan ღsu-ann ღben ben ღjoyce ღjustin ღjammiie ღmy super secret blog =x

Talk about dead blog...
Saturday, February 28, 2015, 4:31 PM

I'm not a hundred percent, but if I'm not mistaken, the last time I blogged at all was the beginning of 2013.

So much has happened since then. For starters, I am now living in the UK, studying. Turned 21 a few months ago, made many new friends, got into some bad habits...

Anyway, I'm constantly homesick. I think. I'm not sure exactly what it is I am feeling, but I know I don't like it. I feel alone, and empty, and completely dead inside. I feel unmotivated to wake up each morning...the thought of having to live another second just...bores me. I want to end it, the boredom, the emptiness, the loneliness, the feeling of living day by day and wishing something will happen so that I don't die on the inside, so I won't feel like helping myself die on the outside.

I want someone here with me, to support me when I'm in need, to accompany me when I'm alone, to be with me just because. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Silence drowning out the storm,
Wishing for something, joy, sorrow or pain.
Standing and waiting, pen poised.
Praying for change, Ending the rain.

hate...but love
Tuesday, June 21, 2011, 6:19 AM

I hate having to see everyday.
I hate having to smile everyday.
I hate having to speak everyday.
I hate having to listen everyday.


I love being able to see everyday.
I love being able to smile everyday.
I love being able to speak everyday.
I love being able to listen everyday.

To him.

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Save The Japan Dolphins
Monday, October 25, 2010, 11:38 PM
Click in the link and do your part to save the Japan Dolphins!
Stop the killings at the sea Taiji, Japan.
Lets turn the water back to blue from the now red!

My thoughts...
Thursday, August 19, 2010, 7:53 AM

You stole my heart,
Broke it into two,
Gave half back to me,
But hid the other half.

Tell me where you hid it,
I need the other half,
I know you don't need it,
You already have another.

Give me back my heart,
Even broken I will take it,
I'll get some glue and with some help,
I'll patch it back together.


Yesterday you were so sweet to me,
And for the rest of the day,
I was filled with sugar rush.

Today you broke me,
Shattered me completely,
Leaving a bitter taste that lasted the whole day.

Tomorrow I'll see you,
And the sugar rush and bitterness you left me before,
Would be forgotten as if I never felt it before.


I saw you standing there,
At place we used to meet at,
But I know that today,
The one you're waiting for,
Isn't me.


You wanted to know how I felt,
I wanted to show you how I felt,
But all I could do was smile.
I'm sorry.


Because when I saw the look upon your face,
I fell in love with you all over again,
Or maybe,
I never fell out of love with you in the 1st place.


I'm smiling,
But inside I'm breaking.

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7:38 AM

When you're there,
I'm looking at everything,
But I'm seeing nothing.
When you speak,
I hear every sound,
But I listen to nothing.

Nothing but you...


and sad.

And as I sit there with my thoughts array,
It envelopes me, bringing me to it's cold embrace.


eyes shut,
darkness surrounding me,
feeling the wet claws of the storm,
digging into my flesh,
making scars, leaving it's mark.
hearing the painful cries of thunder,
feeling it tear into my soul.
And a bright flash of light,
I open my eyes,
and it's all over.


Open a book,
Word's you'll see.
Open your eyes,
And Images will appear.
Open your mind,
And you'll know life.

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7:16 AM

Why is it that I think of you so much?
Why is it that I hurt so bad?
Why is it that even though I know I shouldn't...I still do?
Why is it that even though I don't want to...I still do?
Why is it that there is no way for me to release the hurt and the pain?
Why is it that there are no ways for me to tell him how I feel?
Why is it that he gets to be happy but I just get pain?
Why is it that he can make new memories while I cling to distant ones?
Why is it that no matter how much I want to forget I cannot?
Why is it that no matter where I look I see you?
Why is it that after so long I still want you so much ?

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Friday, June 4, 2010, 11:58 PM

As time passes,
Pictures start fading,
Memories start to dim.

Secrets forgotten,
Adventures rewritten,
Why does this have to be?

Where did it go?
Our sweet rendezvous,
When did it end?
Our never ending serenade.

Times are changing,
People forgotten,
Just like a dream from the past.